December 27th, 2008, Cancer Paranoia

I hit the "funny bone" of my knee on the edge of a chair. It was the usual funny bone incident, that wierd pain resonating throughout my leg until slowly dying out. After two days the resulting bruised feeling went away and I forgot about it. When it it came back a week later I was jumping to conclusions - bone cancer. I remember having trouble with this knee before because my Step Aerobics teacher told me to find an alternative exercise.

I'm wondering if my PET scan missed something. A friend told me her doctor doesn't trust the Prescott Valley PET scan which is where mine was done. So I'm wondering if its the machine or the radiologist who reads it he doesn't trust. Anyway I'm not really worried except about the fact I may be analayzing every normal ache and pain which have been increasing with the advancing years.

Its an unfamiliar paranoia for someone who, other than breast cancer, is the picture of health. I'm hoping after a few clear reports the tension will ease. I noticed a blogging headline on this topic a while back but didn't realize its pertinence until now. Its all part of the journey. How else to understand the whole cancer picture but to experience it?

The antibiotics I took for my tissue expander rejection caused an intestinal problem which was zapping my energy so now I'm taking antibiotics for the antibiotic reaction. My surgery wound is fully healed. At last I feel great - almost normal except for my knee. Now I'm ready to finish my chemo, 7 weeks if radiation.

My radiologist nixed the idea of trying the expanders again before he gets his job done. What that means for me as far as reconstruction is concerned, is I will wait 6 to 12 months and then have reconstruction surgery using the latissimus dorsi muscles from my back. Whew! I get worn out thinking about all this. One day at a time.

Just to keep life interesting Shoyei has just been scheduled for surgery Jan 21st to have his gall bladder removed which is right between chemo session 6 and 7. It's outpatient surgery but it's sounds fairly invasive so I'm sure he won't be very comfortable for a while. Hopefull next year we can look back on this time of challenges with gratitude for good health!

I'm so blessed to have both of my children with me for a week and my wonderful son-in-law here as his job permits. They are a fresh breath of air at a time like this! Life is good!

December 4th 2008, Hot turkey

Phoenix for doctor day. We met with Dr. Kato(my oncologist who replaced Dr. Thakker when he quit). We received a letter from Dr. Kato's group informing us that Dr. Kato has given his notice and that I was being assigned to doctor number 3! I couldn't have written this script. Do you need an outline? However, it turns out I get to move with Dr. Kato to his new practice. He's taking 5 of their people with him including my chemo nurse! I guess this practice has chased off 3 of the younger doctors interested in the latest chemo movements over this past year. They're not into new ideas. Dr. Kato is waiting on my healing before he resumes my last 3 chemos.

On to Dr. Mosharrafa. He was so wonderful and apologetic and compassionate. He told me he felt devastated by what had happened to me. I got my drains out(and never have to have them again - and believe me that's a blessing). We headed to Phoenix with my intending to go cold turkey - no pain meds for the drain removal torture but Dr. Kato said why? This was no time to play "hero". Turns out the pill Nazi came prepared. I'm sure it helped but geez man it still hurt!

Anyway, I was released from all my bandaging which with the 3 feet of tubing felt like what I imagine a corset might feel like. So glad to live beyond that era.

We could see that Dr. M had closed up all but one small remaining wound which we will let heal now. Shoyei and I left feeling really good about him and so relieved to have another chapter behind us.

Our third stop was to visit Bonnie at "Tina's Treasures". If you know anyone going through this you must tell them to visit Bonnie. She's been through the whole ordeal and is loving, compassionate and funny! I left with some new (prosthetic) lingerie to help me feel a little girlier again.

It was a good day.

November 26th 2008, Dr. Report

Saw the doctor and he drained 240 of the 300cc of saline from my right side where the expander was just about to bust through! Gross - it's like Alien(the movie)!

I feel 1000% better!