I am waiting for another routine test - a bone density test. I had one a year ago. This is to determine how my bones are faring after a year on Arimadex, the magic anti-cancer pill I take everyday. It's a tiny white pill that inhibits my body from producing estrogen which my cancer cells feed off of in their quest to grow, divide and conquer. It's the current wonder drug for estrogen positive breast cancer. But like all good things, there's a down side. Side effects include increased blood pressure and thinning bones. Battle scars, I think to myself knowing that at least my blood pressure is on the rise. It's a bit like Alice in Wonderland, with less than totally predictable outcomes. One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small - but how small?
It is freezing in the waiting room I share with a half a dozen women in this women's center at Scottsdale Shea Hospital. All of the other women are in gowns awaiting various tests. All are shivering and I am wondering what the point is. My test does not require disrobing. One woman who is down from her hospital room is draped in blankets. Your son is here they tell her - he just arrived from out of town. Her face lights up.
I think about each woman and what they are facing. Some routine tests, some looking for answers to frightening questions. I think of the frightening answers we sometimes get and remember the long journey I have been on. I have been blessed to have been given words of hope - remission. I realize I am smack dab in the center of a season of Hope. And that realization takes me back to the first week following diagnosis and the "Don't Waste Your Cancer" blog I found. I was seeking Hope and found it there in John Piper's words. My Hope IS in the Lord and Oh how Faithful He has been.
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