My back hurts. At least I think it's my back. When I close my eyes and gently touch the new skin on my chest, it is the strangest sensation- I feel it on my back! So I suppose it's possible that what I perceive to be my aching back is the spare muscle temporarily parked under my right arm. It's all pretty confusing. I read on a cancer blog about the odd phenomenon experienced by women who have the latissimus dorsi reconstruction. You can be doing something like picking something up that would normally use that back muscle and instead your new breast suddenly flexes. That should prove entertaining.
I kept my routine teeth cleaning appointment yesterday thinking I'd have no trouble lying on my back but halfway through, my left chest muscle went into a cramp. My sweet dental hygenist recognized the pain on my face and waited for it to pass. She has just nursed her husband through cancer. I was worn out by the time I got home.
I have fallen off my own pedestal. I am not as tough as I thought. Last night I gave in to a dreaded Percocet and fell asleep pain free. I can do a lot to minimize the pain by trying various positions until the right position causes the pain to cease.
My daughter and son-in-law visited last week-end. We went out to eat three times and each place we went, Carrie went to the car to retrieve a pillow and blanket which she then plumped behind my back for me easing the strain. She didn't ask me, just reached for her Dad's keys and took care of business. Now that's nursing! My St. Joe's nurse was like that. She wasn't satisfied until she'd made sure every angle of me was supported with a pillow. The morning nurse commented about how many pillows I had so I know I had special treatment. They throw their pillows away after each patient or let the patient take them home! I brought home five! So I will remain the pillow lady a while longer, dragging my little entourage of fluffy support with me from bed to chair to car.
My nurse is suffering from shut-in-itis. You wouldn't think a born-and-raised island boy would suffer island fever but he always has. He started young, leaving home at nine to travel with his piano teacher living in different big cities and attending different schools year after year, Los Angelos, Buenos Aires, Rio de Janeiro, San Francisco. Then becoming a pilot and flying internationally, he was just never trained to stay put. He would love a quick trip to somewhere - San Diego? But I am not up to it. There aren't enough pillows for such a trip right now. I don't think I could go that many hours in the car yet. He understands but he paces the house like a caged animal.
I have been able to work from home which helps me feel like I am rejoining the world. I had expected to be back in my broker chair full time by now. I am so blessed to have an amazing team filling in the gap but I sure am anxious to join them. Five more days? That's my plan.
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